Patti's Blog - Advocate for Elders, People with Disabilities and Their Families

Expense, emotions in long-term care

Excerpt from: HT Health (click for full article)

 

Andy Shapiro had never given much thought to whether he would need help with daily activities as he aged. After all, the 61-year-old software consultant figured, he kept himself in good shape.

Then, about five years ago, his 81-year-old parents lost their vitality, seemingly overnight.

“Both of my parents rapidly went from being healthy — swimming, playing tennis — to being frail,” he said. His mother developed a form of dementia and died within a year.

His father has required a live-in health care aide for the last two years. He has been able to afford that and stay in his home because about 30 years ago, he bought a long-term care insurance policy.

Such policies pay for help with daily activities and care, like dressing, bathing and feeding, either at home or in an assisted-living facility or a nursing home. Without the coverage provided by the policy, Shapiro said, his father would be living in a nursing home — something Shapiro, who lives in Woodstock, N.Y., dreads.

Emotional Factors Influence Financial Decisions

Excerpt from: Wealth Strategies Journal 2.0 (click for full article)

 

In a special series developed in collaboration with American Public Media's "Marketplace Money" radio program, the series analyzes the emotional connection we have with our financial decisions.  Illustrated through a compilation of short stories, the series addresses the conscious and a subconscious factors influencing our financial decisions and forcing dollar values on the tangibles and intangibles in our lives

See Tara Siegel Bernard, Emotion, Wild Card of Finances, NYTimes.com March 26, 2013.

Expense and Emotions in Preparing for Long-Term Care

Excerpt from: New York Times (click for full article)

 

Long term care policies pay for help with daily activities and care, like dressing, bathing and feeding, either at home or in an assisted-living facility or a nursing home. Without the coverage provided by the policy, Mr. Shapiro said, his father would be living in a nursing home — something Mr. Shapiro, who lives in Woodstock, N.Y., dreads. “I can’t imagine living in a nursing home,” he said in a phone interview. “The thought of it disturbs me.”

So this year, he conferred with an insurance broker and applied for coverage. He is waiting to hear back from two companies, but expects a policy for himself and his wife to cost several thousand dollars a year.

The emotional impact of witnessing the decline of a family member or helping to care for one is often the reason people seek coverage for long-term care, people who work in the aging field say.

“Anything relating to long-term care triggers a lot of emotions, because most of us want to believe we’ll never need it,” said Nora Dowd Eisenhower, economic security director at the National Council on Aging. Many people who consider the policies have firsthand experience caring for an aging parent, she said, and most of them want coverage that will pay for care in their homes.

Tips for managing bereavement

Excerpt from: McKnight's (click for full article)

 

I think the first thing that we must do to help people who have been bereaved is to tell them to be “kind to themselves.” Point out to them that they have come through a very emotional period, possibly a very long one, and that the first thing they must do is get themselves strong.

As a long-term caregiver, you have likely been on both sides of bereavement: you may have lost a loved one yourself, or witnessed the effects of bereavement among residents at your facility. Many residents may have lost a spouse, adult child and a multitude of friends during their time with you. Additionally, you may have long relationships with

Take care of oneself doesn't just include becoming emotionally or mentally healthy, but physically fit. Make sure someone in bereavement is eating properly, because it is easy to forget to do this in the middle of grief. Sensible meals, sitting down and not rushing may sound old fashioned, but I think it gives the whole of one's metabolism a chance to recover. If I was on my own, I found it useful to read something, to stop me eating too quickly. This can be a particular issue for professional caregivers suffering from a loss, as they rush from place to place to try to ignore their feelings.

Aggression A Struggle For 1 In 2 With Autism

Excerpt from: Disability Scoop (click for full article)

 

More than half of kids and adolescents with autism are physically aggressive and new research suggests that sleep, sensory and other underlying issues may be responsible for the behaviors.

In a study of 1,584 children with autism ages 2 to 17, researchers report this month in the journal Research in Autism Spectrum Disorders that about 53 percent were aggressive.

The report is based on an assessment of children enrolled in the Autism Treatment Network, a nationwide network of care centers for kids with the developmental disorder. Parents were asked whether or not their child intentionally hit or bit others or demonstrated similar types of physical aggression. Then, researchers analyzed other clinical assessments and parent-submitted data on the children to identify trends differentiating those who were aggressive from those who were not.

Helping folks with long-term care

Excerpt from: Cincinnati (click for full article)

 

Many of us are fortunate enough to be able to grow up with emotional and financial support of one or two parents. Psychologists tell us that this helps lead to a healthy adulthood.

But many also feel that turnabout is also appropriate, that offspring should be expected to provide financial support to aging parents when necessary.

As far as I know, this is a fairly recent development in family dynamics. And perhaps we should not be surprised, given that many seniors continue to be hammered by a slew of financial challenges.

I have been aware of these phenomena for some time and conscious of the need in some cases for financial help from one’s children. But in searching the Internet for some facts on this topic, I was surprised to learn that such support is actually required by law in some countries.

Some say that the United States should have similar law requiring filial support when needed and when affordable.

 

Ten Myths About the Dying Process

Excerpt from: Maryland Elder Law (click for full article)

 

When people don’t understand the wisdom of the body, they will make decisions based on fear, lack of information or misinformation. This can lead to devastating physical, emotional and financial consequences for the patient and family as they seek futile or even harmful end of life care. Knowing and honoring the body’s changes will lead to the best possible choices and care for our loved ones.

As a healthcare professional working directly with those facing a terminal illness, I believe it is our work to excavate and correct the myths and misconceptions that may drive treatment decisions, including understanding their prior experience or knowledge of death.

The following is a list of what I have seen as the most common myths about the dying process.

Dying is painful

If people don’t eat they should get a feeding tube or they will starve to death

Not drinking leads to painful dehydration

If I don’t make use of every possible technology available, or if I tell the doctor to stop using machines to keep my loved ones alive, I am essentially killing them.

If they are allowed to stay in bed or sleep as much as they want, they are giving up and will die sooner.

People should be conscious until the moment of death. If they are increasingly tired or confused, they are being over-medicated.

Narcotic pain medications will cause loss of control or even hasten death

It’s too late to say good-bye if they are in a coma

Dying ends in a final struggle

If I’m not there when my loved ones die, I failed them.

A challenge unmet

Excerpt from: Chicago Tribune (click for full article)

 

Chicago elementary school students with learning or emotional disabilities miss far more school days than their peers without disabilities, the Tribune found in an analysis of internal attendance data from the district.

These missed days undermine the education of an already-vulnerable population.

Consider the students in grades K-8 whose designated primary diagnosis is a learning disability — a disorder generally affecting the ability to use or understand language. On average, each of these 17,000 students racked up two weeks of truancy and excused absences in the 2010-11 school year. That's about 20 percent more than those with no disability.

Also frequently gone from school were the 1,500 elementary students with a primary diagnosis of an emotional disorder — children whose behavior or feelings impede their learning and ability to get along with others.

On average, students in grades K-8 with an emotional disorder missed four weeks of school to truancy and other absences. They also accrued 10 times as many suspension days as children without a disability, the Tribune's analysis found.

Managing Caregiver Emotions

Excerpt from: AARP (click for full article)

 

Ever since I've been a caregiver, I've been waiting for The Call. If you're caring for a loved one, you know what I mean — the telephone rings, and you learn that your parent has taken a turn for the worse and you must rush to his side. In the past 12 years I've taken care of my father, then my mother and now my 93-year-old mother-in-law. The Call keeps coming, and I've been on edge the whole time, waiting.

Last August my husband and I were reluctant to take our annual family vacation. Would something happen? But we went, knowing that time with our adult children, who live all around the country, was also important.

We had just entered the rental house when the phone rang. My mother-in-law had been admitted to a hospital many hours away. My brother-in-law gave us bedside reports, and she was released the next day.

On the last day of vacation, the phone rang again. My mother had had a massive stroke. I traveled for six hours to her and stayed in the hospital with her for six days until she died.

Caregiving brings about a swirl of feelings: sadness, frustration, anger, anxiety, guilt, resentment, confusion, isolation, loss, fear, grief, impatience and stress. I have been overwhelmed, drained by sibling tension and torn between my own family, work, personal time and parental needs.

I've also experienced devotion, tenderness, intimacy, gratitude, patience and purpose in my role. In fact, a recent study from the Sloan Center on Aging & Work at Boston College found that older Americans who feel they are making a difference in caregiving and are highly engaged in what they're doing feel happier and more content. I understand that, as well.

But from my on-the-job training, professional reporting and research, including writing a weekly blog for AARP on the topic, I believe most caregivers confront three distinct and difficult experiences. With help from experts, I've also learned ways to manage them.